Finland On Table Service

Throughout our journey our group hasn´t spent a lot of time eating in restaurants. We have mainly done a combination of home cooked prepared meals that our host families have been gracious enough to share, and buffett style lunches and dinners where you serve yourself. This seemed peculiar to me, and left me wondering why....now I know. It had been described by the travel books and several people that I talked to ahead of time that the Finns are notoriously bad at restaurant service. Let me put the ambiguity to rest. They are in fact horrible! We went to a meal the other day in downtown Helsinki. It was a regular restaurant, kind of a bistro bar with a Texas theme (if you can imagine such a thing in downtown Helsinki). Nothing fancy. First off we had to seat ourselves. Luckily we had a Finn with us who knew the protocol as apparently an open table doesn´t neccessarily mean you can sit at it and enjoy your meal there. After finally finding a table in which we could sit (and grabbing our own menus) we were informed that the table we were at was solely for drinking (meaning we couldn´t eat there). That was a new one.... Apparently the restaurants have seperate places for eating and drinking?? I haven´t really figured this out yet, but when you describe that you are looking for a pub type atmosphere where you can have some pub food and a beer the responses are pretty blank. Anyways, after relocating ourselves we finally were in a qualified eating area of the establishment. Our beers arrived (we had ordered them at least 15 minutes before their eventual arrival) and we requested some water. It was now time to order. A young lad came over to our table and took our orders. Let the waiting game begin. I think we waited at least an hour before our meals finally came. That wouldn´t have been so bad as it wasn´t like we had somewhere we were suppose to be, what was bad is that litterally not one single person came over to check on us. You would think at €5/beer they would pay attention to potentially parched patrons who could help boost the restaurant revenue run rate. I guess not....So, the meal finally arrived and we sat there eating. When we were finished we finally received a check (after asking for it), and we paid. It´s worth noting that there isn´t an expectation to tip in Finland. In fact it´s expected that you don´t as the price includes all taxes and tips (thank god). Here are my conclusions....

- Don´t waste time eating out in Finland at any sort of sit down restaurant. The food won´t be worth it, and the service will be terrible, so don´t go through the pain.

- Social systems create disincentive for people to go above and beyond the ´normal´ call of duty. This was clearly demonstrated with the restaurant service. Good or bad, the servers pay check is going to be the same. What difference does it make if the patrons resort to drinking their own urine in an attempt to quench their thirst?

- There are a lot of little kioski´s and street food throughout the streets. Eat at those places. While the food is in fact fast food and probably not that great for you, at least you won´t be sitting for such a length of time that you actually have to become concerned that your blood is clotting within your legs from lack of circulation.

- Lastly, don´t go anywhere without a cheese log and some crackers. If nothing else you can snack on them until your meal shows up.

Finland on Sports

Finalnd seems to be a country that is quite interested in sports. They love their hockey, enjoy a friendly (my ass) game of badminton, love nordic events like ski jumping and cross country skiing, participate in rally car and forumla one racing, floor hockey is popular with the kids, and most of all they claim title (and host) to the interenational world championships of mölkky (picture a heffer cow choking on her cud as she tries to moo to pronunciate the word correctly). Mölkky is a game that is as old as the north country herself. It combines two things that the Finns know more about than perhaps any country in the UN....wood and math! The rules are simple....you start with 12 blocks arranged in a tightly packed group which slightly resembles the pattern of an 8 ball arrangement before you break. The blocks are about 4 inches high in the front, and 6 inches high in the back, each of which is cut at an angle across the top and a number (1-12) is engraved into them so that the participants can see the numbers from the ´throwing line´(which is roughly 4 meters away). The game begins by taking the ´widow maker´(my new name) which is an 8 inch log about 2 inches in diameter, and throwing it underhand into the upright blocks. If for example you hit down 4 blocks you get 4 points (one point for each block), if you hit down just one (and only one) block you get the score that corresponds to the number on the block. For example, if you hit down the 6 block (and only the 6 block) you get 6 points for that turn. Once the score has been determined the fallen blocks are then righted in the spot where they fell. The blocks start to get spread out as the game goes on. Teams (or individuals) alternate turns and tabulate their scores in route to 50. The first one to 50 (without going over, or you start back at 25) is crowned champion and glory is bestowed upon thee. Last night we played a grueling 5 match series Finland vs. USA. The heavily favorited Finns came in to the first match with their heads held high. It didn´t take long though before they realized the USA was here to play.

Game1.... Tie. The US had landed on 50 points first, but since we led to start the game the Finns got to take their last át bat´at which point they tied us.

Game 2....Finland jumped out early. As they attempted to deliver the final blow they started to one off some pins and tried to hit some higher numbered pins which stood alone. There was one stretch where they missed all the blocks in the field of play 3 times in a row. It was explained to the US team before hand that if this happened where 3 turns in a row yielded no points than that team lost. When the US team (mainly myself) started to celebrate the victory the rules magically changed and no longer was the 3 missed shot rule in effect. This judgement came from a partisan council made up solely of Finns. I have petitioned the international gaming commision and they are looking into the matter. After a heated argument that nearly turned to bloodshed the Finns went on to close out the game. Advantage Finland (pending audit).

Game 3.....The US team had their backs against the wall here. They knew it was now or never if they wanted to have any chance at laying claim to their own dignity. The team made it happen. A series of dead eyed rockets that assembled a perfect algorithem of pins carried the team to their first win. Series tied.

Game 4....The US team was 10 feet tall as they launched perfect shots to start the game. The lead grew faster than a paper birch in Helsinki until I made a fatal error in judgement. We needed only 4 points to close out the match at which point I thought hitting a group of pins (irrelevant of their number) would yield us closer to that magic number 50. My attempt failed to connect on a group of pins and instead hit the lone 10 pin. This put our total score at 56 and therefore we were back at 25. The Finns did leave the door open for us as they missed a number of late game wining shots that would have ended it. Finnaly the Finns connected and the game was over. Advantage Finland.

Game 5....The weather had shifted from sunny and calm to gale force winds and evening sprinkles. The conditions were dangerous at best and nearly impossible to predict the movement of your shots. The Finns thought experience would lead them through this game, the Americans were betting on pure determination. The teams went back and forth...as the crowd of on-lookers gathered to watch the titans in action the Americans finally got within striking distance. A single 9 would seal the deal. It was my shot. The lone block was standing tall behind all the others. It was a straight away shot maybe 300-400 meters (I still don´t know if I am converting the metric system correctly). It was at that moment when the heavens parted, the air grew calm, there was even a lone whopping crane in the distance that you could hear faintly chanting ´God Bless America´....the widow maker left my hand in a perfect rolling fashion. The world stopped dead in its cosmic rotation as all eyes watched where it would land. It was a perfect strike as the nine pin blasted from its foundation and gently came to rest. Game! Against impossible odds, in unpredictable weather, fighting the altitude, the Americans had done it. Held there own in the international battle. Series tied!

Finland on Cars

Tonight my host family and I had a roundtable discussion about the costs of owning a vehicle in Finland. Here is what we found. On top of insurance (which is similar to that of the states) there are several other costs that are worth considering in comparison to owning a car. Let´s take for example the classic Colorado all purpose car, the 2008 Subaru Outback 2.5i (this is the station wagon looking rig that nearly 85% of people in Colorado own). New off the lot run of the mill no special options this car will set you back a rounded $23,600 in the states, the same exact car in Finland costs €36,900 which rounds off to an even $57,200 (at an exchange rate of $1.55/€). A new Toyota Land Cruiser 4.5 litre V-8 power house with gold trim will run you a smooth €145,000, which translates to just about as much as the average cost for a home along the northern front range. Crikeys (as the late and great Steve the Croc Hunter would say)!! Now, we all know that you can´t run a car without gasolina. Let´s look at that comparison....tonight we purchased gas for the family´s truckster (volvo station wagon) that I´m staying with. We paid €1.42/litre.... roughly 4 litres to the gallon.... at an exchange rate of $1.55/€ gives you a gallon of gas at roughly....$8.50! (As a side note, I am predicting prices around $4/gallon this summer at the pumps). Next cost....every year we pay some sort of fee for having our vehicles liscensed/registered on the road. The Finns arrive at this cost by taxing you on the CO2 your car puts out. That means that the large gas guzzling Land Cruiser will cost you much more (roughly 3 times) than the smaller more efficient Peugeot 107 that runs on a balls out 1.0 litre engine that is the size of the glove box in the new Ford F350´s. What does all this mean?

- People drive smaller, more efficient cars in Finland. In fact, a lot of people drive diesel vehicles. It turns out diesel gets mileage (or kilometers) per gallon (litre) of fuel similar in respect to what we get out of our hybrids (less 10% or so).

- People use more alternative transportation. Biking seems to be the prefered method for short trips. Busses and trains will take you a little further from home if need be. It´s a way of life in these countries. Walking is also hugely popular. Age doesn´t seem to have a whole lot to do with it either, because I have seen just as many seniors as teens using their feet to get from point A to point B.

- Roads are in pretty decent shape. Sure there are plenty of dirt roads in this country that suffer from similar issues (weather mainly) as those in the states, but it seems as a whole the system is in pretty good condition. This seems to be mainly a function of the taxation associated with EVERYTHING over here. The Finland budget allocates a portion of the taxes collected to dedicated road and infrastructure improvement. This is an issue that CO constantly deals with as an end result of TABOR (tax) which hamstrings our state budget with the mandatory (perennially increasing) requirements for education spending (which I am not saying is a bad thing, I´m only saying).

- Finnish people are forced to purchase cars by evaluating cost AND carbon output (emissions) when choosing a vehicle. This puts pollution into the equation and possibly drives (pun intended) some of the decisions.

Now, despite the issues that are described above I don´t want to sound like I am anti-vehicle here. I understand that our current infrastructure doesn´t easily allow us to effectively use alternative modes like the bus system or trains (at least in smaller towns along the front range, with the exception of Boulder) to get where we´re going when we need to get there in every circumstance. It´s comparing apples to oranges in that sense. But, I do know that I could walk from point A to point B a couple more times per week. Additionally, I like to have the option to drive a 4x4 up a steep rocky road to a high mountain trailhead with my gas grill, 6 of my best friends, an inflatable pool, four cases of PBR, a dog (any breed will do), three circus chimps and a cooler full of bologna, but I also know that those trips happen maybe once or twice a year at most for people and that the rest of the time a modestly sized Mitsubishi Colt with a 75 hp (lawnmower) motor would be just fine.

Finland on Thursday´s

Wow, today was a real barn burner. Our group started the day by receiving copies of the weekly publication the Keski-Häme, which is the city Lammi´s newspaper. The second page features a 3/4 page spread of our team followed by an article (all in Finnish of course) about our travels. It´s a great article that I will keep as a memento of our journey. The only dowside to the whole thing is the angle at which the picture was taken makes my head look 3X as large as the rest of the team members. It´s so large in fact that on the last pages there are ads for a motorcycle, 2 liter coke bottles that are on sale, a JVC boombox, and a pull behind car trailer that ALL would fit into the surface area of my mug shot.

We transferred cities again today. While I thought we were going to be headed further into the woods we actually came to a clearing known as Lahti. Let me tell you that this place is fantastic. The city itself sits on a large lake. The city has lofts built up around it and a dock/pier area that comes straight out of the city center. There is a board walk that goes right around the shore, and a marvelous concert hall known as the Sibelius Hall (check out the architecture section on the attached link, the page is in Finnish, but just click around and you will find it). It´s basically a massive piece of wooden/glass art. We went to the symphony there tonight and it was amazing!! The enitre auditorium is essentially a box. It is insulated by a meter thick wall of sand that keeps all outside noises out. There are doors that surround the auditorium that open and shut with small cuts in them that allow the hall to be ´tuned´for whatever type of show they are going to play. The performance was a Beethoven symphony. There was a piano piece that was played as the lead that was truly impressive (as I have no musical talent at all). You truly could hear every note, every step on stage, every cough from the audience, and at one point there was even someone´s cell phone to my left that VIBRATED and you could hear that too. Travel note: not the place to go if you are having digestion issues.

I am now on to yet another host family. This family is Finnish, but I think the children have spent more years in other countries than in Finland. They speak perfect English (which still puzzles me as the Finnish language is so unique). The father is a business consultant that does M&A work and turn around consulting (as well as plays badminton on Friday´s, god help me). The mom teaches english. Yet again, I find myself in a fortuitous situation in a strange land.... funny how life works out sometimes.

Finland on Loving Thy Neighbor

For those of you that don´t know Finland shares it border with several countries. It´s neighbor to the east is Russia, it´s neighbor to the west is Sweden. Let´s examine this love hate hate love hate me love me like you mean it hate thing they got going on here.

Russia: Complicated, but simple at the same time. So, Finland and Russia really don´t like each other. There is no doubt about that....google ´Russia/Finaland Winter War 1940´or ´Chernobyl melt down that sent a cloud of acid rain and cancer causing shit to southern Finland´ and you will get a basic understanding of two of the 200 issues these countries have with each other. At the same time, google ´trade exports Finalnd to Russia´or ´business opportunity Russia´and you will see why there is an immense need for Finns to stand tall and smile for the shear opportunity to take advantage of their neighbors recent prosperity that is a result of the global gluttony of oil and natural resources that Russia has. Solution to this problem....Finland needs an influx of non-Finns (to eliminate the personal issues), that have a negative history with Russia (to ensure their like interests are protected), that speak Russian (obvious reasons), that are business savy, that need a job because they may or may not have just graduated college.....who could that be....I know, Ukrainians. Let the migration begin! Oh, and take some of borsh with you, Finland makes a similar soup but it doesn´t have nearly the flavor.

Sweden: The on-going joke around Finland is that the shortest book in history is the book of Swedish war heros. That always grabs a chuckle from the masses, here's why. It turns out Sweden is your classic passive aggressive personality. If Sweden was a person it would be me. Here´s how the story goes. Sweden managed to stay out of that whole world war II situation while profiting from the whole thing at the same time. Smart? I could argue. Sweden helped supply Germany with many of the things they needed to wage their battles across Europe. Raw materials, transportation routes into Finland, blonde hockey stars, etc. At the same time Sweden said ´what´s up?´with a dumbfounded look of confussion on their face followed by long awkward stares in silence when asked who they were aligned with in the war....therefore no formal occupation of their country ever happened, and they were able to make a Bush/Chaney type return during the war years. When it came to Russia and the fear that the iron curtain of communisim would rain down upon Sweden like slap shots from Sergi Federov (russian hockey legened) well, Sweden punted to Finland to take care of that whole thing. Turns out Finland didn´t really feel like letting Russia take over their country so they basically defended Sweden indirectly (oh yeah, and did I mention that Finland bought a whole bunch of stuff from Sweden while they were waging this battle with Russia, which essentially fueled Sweden´s economy during that time?). Fast forward a generation or two and let´s take a look at present day issues. Sweden vs. Finalnd 2006 men´s Olympic hockey championship game. Sweden wins 3-2 on a third period goal scored by Nicklas Lidstom, assist Peter Forsberg. Women´s side, Sweden finishes with the silver and Finland is ousted by the US in the bronze medal game to finish out of the money after coming in as a favorite to beat Sweden in the championships. Add insult to injury, Finnish people are apparently apauled at the fact that their country doesn´t have any cool sterotypes associated with it and Sweden does...everyone knows that Sweden is known for it´s blue eyed, blonde haired, nordic gods/goddesses. Ask anyone what they think of when they think of Finland and the response will be laplanders, who are basically elves with pointy shoes and raindeer that live at the north pole. So, it is my offering for the rest of the trip to start some sort of sterotype for the Finnish people upon my arrival state side. I figure who better to start spreading such a thing than myself who single handedly introduced society to ´knucks´, the revival of corduroy pants, and the DVD red book invention that was stolen by the evil golden arches.

Finland on Finns

Over the weekend there was a terrible bus wreck in the Spanish city of Malaga. The wreck killed nine Finnish tourists on their way to the airport to catch a return plane home. This news was probably little more than a blip during the ´world´news tonight in america, but over here it was a big event. What became apparent to me as a result of this tragedy is that the Finnish people genuinely care about one another. I got to hear the story told several times in various groups over the last couple of days (always in Finnish of course)....without knowing the specifiic words that were being used in discussion, I was able to observe their body language again and again as they told each other the story. There was always pause and a sense of sorrow from each Finn that discussed the story. It was like they each lost someone personally, someone close to them. Perhaps the reasoning behind this is that this is a country of only 5 million people so everyone counts a little more, perhaps it´s a by product of all the infighting and war periods that this country has seen that has torn families apart, perhaps it´s an attitude that each Finn is to be treated like your brother....whatever the reason may be it is safe to say that the Finns truly care about each other. Perhaps this would be the best lesson I could bring home with me.

Other Acknowledgements:
Abloy locks - www.abloy.com These things are so freaking stylish I had to share it with the world. Check them out.

Using glass as interior walls. The way the Finns do this is so advanced compared to what we see at home. The most impressive building I had seen to date was the Apple outlet in Soho where there is an impressive mix of glass and modern architecture. That type of childs play is found in schools (in the country side) in Finland. The home applications and ´modern´design uses that you find elsewhere in this country are even more impressive.

Finland on Sauna

It seems impossible to imagine a trip to Finland without a trip to the sauna during your stay. A 2000 year old tradition has lasted through wars, dictators and many generations of Finns. The country has roughly 5 million inhabitants, and roughly 2 million saunas. This was our groups first experience with a traditional smoke house style Finnish sauna. What a treat!! Here is a description....

The sauna is situated in a small wood cabin structure. Inside there are the traditional wooden benches that are for sitting and the stairs to climb up to get to those perches. What makes this sauna different is the stove that is used to create the heat....there is no electric, only fire and smoke. The process started about 7am today when the owner began making the sauna ready for our arrival (we didn´t get there until about 3pm mind you). The process begins by letting the place air out and cleaning the stove clear of ash and remains from prior use. Then a fire is lit within the stove. The fire begins burning and is stoked and tended to as the day goes on. The smoke passes through the sauna structure as the fire burns. It´s essentially like lighting a camping fire in your living room. This puts a thin layer of soot all over the inside of the sauna. Once the stove (and the rocks that are covering the stove) are heated to the proper temperature (scalding ass hot) the sauna is aired out at which point any remaing smoke is cleared from the building. The fire is now out at this point. The rocks that have been heated remain hot enough to sizzle water on them for many hours (perhaps even into the next day). It´s pretty amazing the amount of heat that the stove and rocks are able to retain. The inside temperature remained a steady 80c (you do the conversion) the whole time. It´s now time to sauna. Men and women went seperate in this case as there were about 15 of us all together. The women went first while we patiently waited and enjoyed some sowty (I will spell it phenetically, but I have no idea what the word looks like. Side note, sowty is a homemade beer/drink thing that is basically fermented grains that has a color similar to beer, but has no carbonation....germans make something similar to this but the name eludes me at present....). Once they were done it was our turn. It´s kind of a funny scene watching a bunch of men (or women for that matter) strip down to sauna attire outside next to a lake in the middle of a sparsely populated ´neighborhood´, and then pile into a small room as though it´s some sort of clown car...check your modesty at the airport I guess. Anyways, once everyone is piled in someone starts tending the sauna. You drizzle water on the hot rocks creating steam that fills the room. The exchange between the steam and your skin is what creates the effect. I always thought the temperature was rising when you threw water on it (which makes no sense at all now that I think about it) and that´s where the intensity comes from....I now know that the intense sensation is from the steam.....if you have ever had your face too close to a boiling pot of water when you took the lid off you have experienced this sensation. There are stories of people dumping entire buckets of water on the stoves and having to be treated for burns as the steam essentially burns there bodies as a whole. You regulate the intensity of the whole thing with a laddle that helps you apply the water is smaller somewhat more controlled amounts. Of course they had the traditional birch branches that you use to whack yourself with to increase circulation, and there was of course the nearby lake that you could (and did) jump into to ´cool´ off (the ice finished coming off the lake yesterday) when the sauna gets too intense. As is also tradition when we had had enough of the whole process we sat around and drank more beer and sowty and talked about the sauna (in our towels) and other worldly topics of interest. In conclusion, I always thought of paradise as a tropical island populated with scantily clad danes and pints that never emptied...turns out the true haven more resembles underbudget b-list euro ´films´ in a wooded forest with glasses of cloudy homemade ale....semantics I guess.

Additional: The weather in Finland has been nice the last few days....teperatures are around 10c. The last two nights I have seen two of the most amazing sunsets I have ever seen in my life (which says a lot for someone from CO). We continue to meet fantastic people in parts of this country that no tourist ever visits, and yes, I have put on at least 5 pounds from the intake of fine Finnish foods and the occasional cold one. I guess it´s a good thing that I don´t have to try to shoe horn my ass into any sort of bathing suit on this trip.

Finland on Education Part Deux

I had an opportunity to listen to a presentation about higher education in Finland led by the president of the technical university in Tampere. Education here (like the states only more pronounced) is split up in three main groups. Universities are either technical (engineering, science), liberal (humanities, arts), or general studies that combine both (CSU for example). The presentation from the technical university yielded some interesting observations. First, 20% of all graduates from the higher education system in Finland are engineers. This is insanely high! Almost all of them continue through masters level education in a more specific field (until most recently stopping at the bachelor level wasn´t even an option). Another interesting observation is the amount of women in the engineering program. I believe the dean reported it was 60% or higher. This is a total flip flop from the states where women are reported to have deficient math and science skills due to the different ways in which they learn vs. their male counter parts. You would think with all these smarts running around innovation would be a mainstay. You would be mostly right in this thinking, but let´s continue.....

Upon close examination you discover that there are so many engineers and technically skilled people running around that they can´t all possibly find work for which they are qualified. Many have to settle for jobs in which they are over qualified. This leads to some social issues and resentment against the system. It also limits upward potential of those that are employed at a qualified level as there are more than enough canidates that could replace them, thus keeping salaries relatively low (simple supply/demand).

What does all this mean? It means there are opportunities abound to build out "the team" and outsource some smarts.....Congratulations Finland, you´re on "the team".

Good Grief....

So, about tonight....our group is getting ready to leave the big city (population 200K) of Tampere tomorrow to head out to a smaller town known as Akäa. As a going away treat I thought that I would go on a walk about to see what I could find.....I started out towards city center. All was well as I made my way to a pub I found a couple of nights ago. The place is kind of a cross between CBGB and the trailhead, punk music in the back, cheap beers in the quaint. Lucky for me it happened to be karokee night. Euro ´trash´abound, and me in the corner enjoying my Koff (Finish beer...quite good actually), until an oversized version of Roseann Barr came to my table side and started spouting some sort of Finnish jibberish (and I use that term lightly considering their language in general) that was referencing the song being ´performed´. Luckily I was able to fend off such attack by shifting gears and heading into "me no speaky finny" routine. Once I found the bottom of that pint it was time to begin the cross town navigation back to my host family. Upon the way I spotted a British pub called Henri´s. I thought, "what the heck...I like Brit´s...let's give it a try". In I went....long story short, it turns out that telling people you are a ´football´coach in an English bar is a good idea (despite the fact it´s an entirely sperate sport in the states). After a couple rounds of house drinks it is defiently time to head to the barn. I get up and leave and make my way under the city center bridge in route to my host family. Along the way I spot a late night food kiosk. I think to myself...."what the hell, if nothing else I can burn up some of these euro coins that are weighing my pants down. The menu, as expected, is all in Finnish. I look things over carefully and order the ´kabab pulidsnfoisndfinsdofnoiandfonasiond´, thinking that this is going to be the equivelent of a turkish kabab, or at worst a gyro. No, it turns out that it´s an onion covered cooney the shape of CA.....just what I needed right? So, €4 later I am thinking to myself there must be some sort of reason I was served this....here is what I came up with....

A) A kabab is so middle eastern that Finland has yet to adopt it as a food and is in fact serving their interpretation of the dish as such.....
B) Finland hasn´t yet got over the fact that we (USA) were less than receptive to helping them out in the world wars due to the cold temperatures.......
C) Condi Rice and Co. (GWBush) have bloody messed things up so much in the international arena that americans abroad can in fact order one thing and receive something totally different as punishment for our global mess.

You make the call....

JP

Finland on Bed Time Snacks

So, as you have deduced from my prior entry I am suffering terribly from some physical injuries as well as a mild case of PTSD that I sustained during the uber-competitive evening badminton game (don´t forget I am a passivist, so that level of competition is fairly foreign (pun intended) to me). I think the host mother (300 as I will call her) was feeling a bit bad for me, so she offered up a bed time snack. Cookies, crackers maybe, how about a glass of milk....no, let´s make a fire and grill brawtwurst instead! Are you bloody (I met a kenyan lad who studied in the UK, thus my change in explicatives) kidding me? No, she was not. Two firm links, two ´pints´ of lager that could fill horsetooth reservoir and a metal squeeze tube of mustard that has a label with a Finnish war hero decapitating a russian insurgent on it (makes the keebler elves look like real sissies doesn´t it). Anyways, fire was stoked and the meat was roasted. Down the hatch it went....pretty tasty, especially for midnight.

Advantage: Finnish cardiologists and life insurance agents trying to make their money on the ´short´.

Finland on Badminton

As I sit here bleeding from my left knee with a pulled groin and a blister on the bottom of my right foot, I am thinking about the nightmare that was my last 2 hours. It all started so innocently with my host mother (who is to be viewed as anything but after the beating she just dished out) asking me in her cute little accent if "I was prepared to step in for her husband while he is traveling and play badminton tonight?" Why yes I thought, that would be a blast....have a light dinner, head off to the gym, play for an hour or so, and then home for sauna....a blast it was all right! Two little words I failed to miss when the invitation was extended: ´league play´. The last thing I can remember, which is more than I care to, is the picture of a shuttle cock dribbling over the net at which point I dove from somewhere near the back line with my racket extended making contact as I slid across the floor. What appeared to be a brilliant shot as the birdie soared up in the air and was clearing the net, quickly turned to horror as the opposing women (we will call her Maximus) flew from her perch at center court with the grace of a lion sensing it´s weaker pray, and slammed an overhead whack down upon thee sending the shuttle cock squarely into my person. As I laid there helpless and wounded I thought to myself, "it is of no surprise this country defeated the russian and swedish advances so many times throughout history, those battles were fought with guns and tanks, where as I just about lost my life with a racquet and a 4 inch feathered rubber capped cone."

Tips for (Finnish) badminton:

-Don´t play on league night unless you have travel insurance that will ensure your remains can be transported home without a high cost to your survivors.

-Beware the ´bait shot´. Often times the serves are delicate little lob shots that are tempting to return in a similar fashion. Upon further review, this is simply a bait shot that will result in you losing one, if not both eyes upon your opponents return shot.

-Beware of open wounds in the sauna. It turns out some of the scented oils can burn a bit when applied.

Advantage: Finland

Jeff on The Dollar

Yes, it´s true that I am in Finland....far removed from the turmoil on the ´street´in Manhatten, but it is also true that I have a computer whose homepage was immediately changed to yahoo finance (englsh language selection) upon my arrival to my latest host family. It´s a nice afternoon (7 hour difference between Lapland and Wall Street) reprive when I can look in on the markets I so love. As some of you know I made a play on the dollar´s bottoming out a couple of weeks ago. At that time it was trading at 99 yen/dollar and 0.59€/dollar. While it normally would be ill fated to talk about successful trades, (especially ones that were conducted on margin) I feel my offsetting leveraged buy on GS at 171.20 is going to more than make up for the gain I hope to realize later today (when I wake up from my afternoon nap/sauna) when I exit the dollar.

Predictions for the week. Earnings will not be good for financials. The bad news may have been priced into the market already, with the exception of the Wachovia deal that will represent an 18% discount on the closing price Friday before market open today, so I´m not sure how much the bad news will effect pricing, but none the less it should be a negative week. There will be downward pressure on the dollar spurred by renewed concerns on inflation. I also don´t think we have heard the end of the bad news from the airlines industry. Some positive news from DAL/NWA camps will help some, but it seems difficult to imagine that there will be a turn around in that industry as a whole. Lastly, I am predicting GS to hit 173.12 before week end (this last one is really more wishful thinking than actual predicting).

Finland on Driving

I always feel that you can tell a lot about a person based on how they drive. Primative behaviors that are so ingrained in our being come out in droves behind the wheel. Reference any time you have been in a car with a man at the helm who has lost his direction. The first thing they will do is turn down the radio (as if the NPR program is too large a distraction to work through)....this is the by-product of a man´s simple brain...one thing at a time, or nothing at all (yes women, it´s true that there are times when there is litterally NOTHING going on in our heads, stop asking about it!). Anyways, my experience with Finnish drivers so far (both genders) is that you must drive as fast as your car will allow at ALL times. If you can´t grab at least three gears getting up your driveway into the garage, then get off the road! Despite the heavy excise taxes on automobiles, 50% of purchase price, Finns (and europeans in general it seems) will purchase the best made european power house that will accomidate their needs. Most cars are small, reference the renault line and VW Polo (a smaller version of the cabrio) that seem to be incredibly popular, but all seem to have at least 5 gears and most have 6......the Finns intend to use ALL of them at every opportunity. Just tonight, on our way to a heated game of badminton (not league play, just rec level I was informed), we took a sharp corner at roughly 60Km/hr and the driver didn´t need to pause his story to do so. This mind you, was negotiated in a Saab (Swedish made) station wagon (the family truckster as Clark W. Griswald would say) sporting snow tires....We did however, make it just in time to suit up, stretch a bit, and grab our shuttle cocks (that term gets a bit lost in translation as I found out) before the match....can´t argue with punctuality I guess.

Advantage: brake pad manufacturers and pharmacy salesmen that peddle dramamine.

Finland on Education

We visited a school this week. It was the equivelent of a junior\high school in the states. It was interesting to learn about their schooling system and the general attitudes towards education. We had a chance to step into a couple of classrooms while some learning was going on. The first things that you notice are the typical things like fashion, joking around playing grab ass with one another, and the smiles and giggles as we try to use some of our Finnish words that we have "learned" during our travels. At closer glance, you start to notice some stark contrasts. Mainly that the kids are way smarter than we ever were at that age. ALL of them speak multiple languages...ALL speak Finnish and ALL speak Swedish as Finland is officially a bi-lingual country. They ALL study English, and most take German or French. That covers the better part of their content when it is all said and done. Now, it would be important to mention how they study these languages, as we claim to take "years" of language study through our system as well. Each student starts Finnish and Swedish along with English when they are in first grade. They take these classes 3 hours (one hour for each class) each day. They do this for the next 10 years!! Repetition is the mother of all learning.....

Other subjects, chemistry, physics, math, are all taught in a similar fashion as we do in the states, with one big exception. The focus is NOT on memorization and regurgitation, it is on the pscychology of how a person accesses information. Let me explain.....think back to chimstry 101, how many countless hours did we spend in class (or even worse at home) memorizing periodic tables and other useless bullshit that can be at our ready finger tips with technology (or in the case of the periodic table, a piece of paper sitting on our desk)? More than we should have is the answere. Case and point, I can tell you that there is a little known element known as Einsteinium included in the periodic table, it sits in the lower right hand corner somewhere near Californium, but, ask me to bond some elements or show me an organic compound, and I´ll ask if I can buy a vowel?

Moving on....lunch time! Kids crowd into the dinning hall yelling and screwing around...pretty typical. What´s not typical is that everyone eats school lunches. No one brings their own, not teachers, not students, not guests to the school, no one. The meal we had was a very tasty potato (always) and beef stew, cheese (always) potatos on the side, and milk or water to drink. The kids are welcome to take as much as they like and eat until they are full. The meals are never made with artificial ingredients, and the calories, salt, fat, vitamins, etc are closely monitored so that each meal is fully balanced and wholesome.

After lunch.....it was time to stop in to some of the elective classes...art and music are required electives for at least 7 years (this could explain why even men in this country have a sense of design and style), other classes like wood shop and knitting are electives.

At the end of the day it is time to go home. Most the kids ride their bikes, but some walk, and others take the public busses. No one arrives to school on a traditional school bus in the major citites as it is not an option.

Final thoughts: after talking with the students and teachers at the school I made a very important observation. The observation is that everyone thinks (and admits) it is really important to have a good foundation of schooling. Kids are not embarrased if they are really smart, they are proud as they know it is important to their future. Kids are looked up to if they are the smart ones and not the best athletes or have the most money, etc. They feel like they must take school seriously and it´s not just a set of hoops to jump through in route to college. I never felt this way with my education...especially in high school. There was nothing I wanted to do less on most days than go waste time sitting in class, however, I knew it was all part of the game, a game that led me to college. It all worked out for me (with the exception that I never really learned how to "study"), but I know a lot of people that it didn´t work out for and as a result will hit ceilings in their lives or careers that may disporportionately represent their potential. Oh, and did I mention this was a public school we went to? Yeah, the private schools are even a leg up on these.....

Advantage: Finland

Peroxide in the water.....

So, its been quite the week. Lots of great things have happened to our group since we landed. I'll outline as much as I can here, but I may have to keep it short as we äre scheduled to have dinner with the governor and then head off to a ball.....got to look good for that one...may need a quick sauna before hand as well (do not be surprised if when I get home I actually turn on the heat in my house and start trolling around naked throwing the occasional ladle of water on my ass).

Anyways, our flight was quite the journey. The trip to Newark was just that...a trip to Newark...the second leg, the overnight flight to Koppenhagen was a different story. What a great plane ride! Everything was on time with no issues. Stewardess kept us plenty boozed up, the food was good, and despite having a seat in the back of the plane I had a whole row to myself. When we touched down it was morning in Europe. That kind of screws with your mind a bit because we had been up close to 24 hours straight, at that point it was turning to night back home, yet it was bright and early in the morning in Koppenhagen. Rather than wait out our 5 hour lay over in the airport we jumped on a train to city center. It was a 15 minute train ride to downtown where we exited and set out to explore city proper. The first thing that greets you in Koppenhagen is the immense amount of bikes. They're everywhere!! The city has a bike co-op program that allows you to take any number (and there are literally hundreds) of the unlocked parked bikes and ride them anywhere you like within the city.....it was raining when we arrived or I would have set out on a fixed gear to try my fate in traffic. Anyways, we walked to a small coffee shop that is in the town center (very near a fashion store called "engleborn"). Our first chance to feel the sticker shock of the exchange rate. Yeah, it's true...our dollar is shit. After coffee we walked around the main city square until it was time to go back to the airport.

Koppenhagen to Finland. Short commuter jet. I sat with some lads from NYC that were preparing a sales pitch for Nokia. They insisted on spending the flight educating me on the differences between Swedish women and Finnish women. Since I am completely uninterested in well fit, highly educated, blue eyed, bi-lingual blonde's, I simply tuned them out and caught a quick hour of shut eye. Upon arrival in Tampere we were greeted by our hosts. The airport is roughly the size of the FcLoveland airport so it wasnät hard to find the lads that were decked out from head to toe in Rotary lapel pins. My host was Jali, a lad whose family has been long time residents of Tampere. He drove us to his home which is located on a giant lake. It is an older farm house that has been completely renovated with a modern interior. He is an architect so it is done beautifully. His style is ultra modern (my favorite). After looking through the place it is apparent that americans have no sense of style in their home designs and we should all employe Finish architects before we build anything (that last plug was for Jali, he bribed me with congac). Anyways, it was an eventful couple of days with him. He introduced us to sauna. This topic will be further discussed throughout my trip, but for now I will share the one important (gender specific) lesson I learned. Put a towel down before you sit!! Talk about a souvenir that you do not need....yikes (I sure wished I would have packed some of that Burt's Bee's Miracle Salve)! Jali has a daughter that is getting ready to move to LA for school at UCLA. She played translator and late night party host to our group. Incredibly bright poli-sci gal that speaks 4 languages fluently without pause (more on how undereducated Americans are in another post). On Wednesday night we went to a club called onntelli (passion) to see how Finäs get jiggy. Late night, turns out that clubs and places stay open until 4am, and some in the major cities like Helsinki stay open all night (this may come in handy at the tail end of the trip when we have no kayakalipala or hoteli to stay at). It was a good chance to bust out some home grown moves from the left side of the pond. I may or may not have pulled a groin in the process (nothing a little sauna wonät fix).

The other glaringly obvious attribute of the entire country is that there is no shortage of blonde hair. At some point I hope to meet someone that is a water treatment guy to see if in fact they put peroxide in the water. Everywhere you turn there are blondes.

Anyways, this blog post is starting to ramble, but I wanted to put something out there as I have been unable to email or communicate since my arrival. I will elaborate more on what I häve learned since we touched down on the tarmac in Finland, but I will save that for another time. I have now moved houses and am shacking up with some swedes...these people are hilarious. They make their own wine, sauna (co-ed) and for one reason or another the man of the house has half a dozen compound bows that he bought from Cabelas that he insists I learn how to shoot before my departure (apparently Sunday is a big day for bow shooting). The women of the house seems to want to feed and drink me to death, and there seems to be this random older lady (perhaps someones mom) that keeps showing up with pastries to my room (apartment).... I guess, when in Finland do as the Finns do (or Swedes in this case).....

Oh, and in case Tanner reads this...they do put ice in their water. Looks like I can stay and have fun after all.

Viva Finlandia

Buenos dias mi amigos,

Well, the hour is upon us. It's soon time to board the plan to Newark as I make the first leg of my big Finlandia adventure!! The only thing that stands between me and a sauna in Tampere is 4 oz. of turkey lunch meat, 3/4 quart of organic vanilla yogurt, a half dozen (medium sized) eggs and a palm sized block of pepper jack cheese. What an odd combination you say....well, the commonality is that all of the above items are perishable, and anyone that knows me, knows I'm a sucker for scarcity so I won't be leaving anything in the fridge to rot while I'm away. I'll let you know how it comes out.....and god willing, after that block of cheese, something does in fact 'come out'.