Finland on Sports

Finalnd seems to be a country that is quite interested in sports. They love their hockey, enjoy a friendly (my ass) game of badminton, love nordic events like ski jumping and cross country skiing, participate in rally car and forumla one racing, floor hockey is popular with the kids, and most of all they claim title (and host) to the interenational world championships of mölkky (picture a heffer cow choking on her cud as she tries to moo to pronunciate the word correctly). Mölkky is a game that is as old as the north country herself. It combines two things that the Finns know more about than perhaps any country in the UN....wood and math! The rules are simple....you start with 12 blocks arranged in a tightly packed group which slightly resembles the pattern of an 8 ball arrangement before you break. The blocks are about 4 inches high in the front, and 6 inches high in the back, each of which is cut at an angle across the top and a number (1-12) is engraved into them so that the participants can see the numbers from the ´throwing line´(which is roughly 4 meters away). The game begins by taking the ´widow maker´(my new name) which is an 8 inch log about 2 inches in diameter, and throwing it underhand into the upright blocks. If for example you hit down 4 blocks you get 4 points (one point for each block), if you hit down just one (and only one) block you get the score that corresponds to the number on the block. For example, if you hit down the 6 block (and only the 6 block) you get 6 points for that turn. Once the score has been determined the fallen blocks are then righted in the spot where they fell. The blocks start to get spread out as the game goes on. Teams (or individuals) alternate turns and tabulate their scores in route to 50. The first one to 50 (without going over, or you start back at 25) is crowned champion and glory is bestowed upon thee. Last night we played a grueling 5 match series Finland vs. USA. The heavily favorited Finns came in to the first match with their heads held high. It didn´t take long though before they realized the USA was here to play.

Game1.... Tie. The US had landed on 50 points first, but since we led to start the game the Finns got to take their last át bat´at which point they tied us.

Game 2....Finland jumped out early. As they attempted to deliver the final blow they started to one off some pins and tried to hit some higher numbered pins which stood alone. There was one stretch where they missed all the blocks in the field of play 3 times in a row. It was explained to the US team before hand that if this happened where 3 turns in a row yielded no points than that team lost. When the US team (mainly myself) started to celebrate the victory the rules magically changed and no longer was the 3 missed shot rule in effect. This judgement came from a partisan council made up solely of Finns. I have petitioned the international gaming commision and they are looking into the matter. After a heated argument that nearly turned to bloodshed the Finns went on to close out the game. Advantage Finland (pending audit).

Game 3.....The US team had their backs against the wall here. They knew it was now or never if they wanted to have any chance at laying claim to their own dignity. The team made it happen. A series of dead eyed rockets that assembled a perfect algorithem of pins carried the team to their first win. Series tied.

Game 4....The US team was 10 feet tall as they launched perfect shots to start the game. The lead grew faster than a paper birch in Helsinki until I made a fatal error in judgement. We needed only 4 points to close out the match at which point I thought hitting a group of pins (irrelevant of their number) would yield us closer to that magic number 50. My attempt failed to connect on a group of pins and instead hit the lone 10 pin. This put our total score at 56 and therefore we were back at 25. The Finns did leave the door open for us as they missed a number of late game wining shots that would have ended it. Finnaly the Finns connected and the game was over. Advantage Finland.

Game 5....The weather had shifted from sunny and calm to gale force winds and evening sprinkles. The conditions were dangerous at best and nearly impossible to predict the movement of your shots. The Finns thought experience would lead them through this game, the Americans were betting on pure determination. The teams went back and forth...as the crowd of on-lookers gathered to watch the titans in action the Americans finally got within striking distance. A single 9 would seal the deal. It was my shot. The lone block was standing tall behind all the others. It was a straight away shot maybe 300-400 meters (I still don´t know if I am converting the metric system correctly). It was at that moment when the heavens parted, the air grew calm, there was even a lone whopping crane in the distance that you could hear faintly chanting ´God Bless America´....the widow maker left my hand in a perfect rolling fashion. The world stopped dead in its cosmic rotation as all eyes watched where it would land. It was a perfect strike as the nine pin blasted from its foundation and gently came to rest. Game! Against impossible odds, in unpredictable weather, fighting the altitude, the Americans had done it. Held there own in the international battle. Series tied!