Tila Tequilla You Killa-ing Me

Nico the German lad on my corridor found a television at the second hand store in Malmo for 50sek. (~$10). At this price it was IMPOSSIBLE for him to pass up such a sweet deal. So, after years without one I now again find myself with a boob tube at my finger tips. In addition, I've felt a bit under the weather the last couple of days, so I thought to myself, "what better way to take my mind off research and cognitive output than to watch a little tv?" We get about 6 different stations:

1) A station that does nothing but advertise ring tones for teenagers cellular devices.
2) A sports programming station that's in Swedish.
3) Swedish equivalent of like an ABC or CBS. Sitcoms and news in Swedish.
4) A station that basically bastardizes and copies American game shows in Swedish. For example, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire in Swedish. American Idol is called (simply) Swedish Idol.
5) A station called 'Steve' that seems to show 80's music videos on a continuous loop.
6) MTV

So, with the limited Swedish that I know, along with everyone else on my corridor, we end up getting stuck on MTV. For the last two nights I've been glued to the thing. Sipping tea and starving my cold, while my mind wastes away. Something occurred to me during this process......'my god, what is our programming telling the rest of the world'? Here's a sample of the last two nights tele....

MTV Music Awards - this year's awards show was hosted by Russell Brand. Russell is a degenerate Brit who got his fame cleaning urinals for the Sex Pistols in the early 80's and now has achieved some level of fame in Britain. He claims to be a stand up comic first and foremost, but I would consider him to be simply a joke who can stand up. I would liken his routine to an orthodontic visit. When Russell wasn't leaving the audience in stitches Brittney Spears was accepting awards for her mega hit Pieces of Me which ironically over half of the male guests in attendance had already had. Yes, it was a magical night in Hollywood.

Next - this is a dating show in which there is a single person (male or female) that is going to have an opportunity to sift through 5 possible suitors of the opposite sex. The idea of the show is that as each potential suitor is introduced they are to receive $1 for each minute that they're on the date. As soon as the single is bored or turned off by one of the potential suitors they simply yell out 'next' at which point the suitor is given their money for the corresponding minutes they were on the date and returns to the bus. The next suitor is then introduced from the bus and jumps into the middle of the date....etc. This show would be far more entertaining if instead of introducing the people from the bus, they simply lined them up in front of the bus and floored it.

The X Effect - this show is spicy. Ex lovers are reunited for a weekend escapade of which their current lovers can spy in on without the others knowing. At the end of the show the truth is revealed that the current lovers have been watching and listening to everything that the ex's were doing on their weekend together. Now, here is an interesting question regarding the IQ of the participants. Why do the ex's seem so flabbergasted when it's reported to them that their current lovers were able to watch in on their weekend? Did the camera crew, lighting crew, stage hands, and pool boy not tip them off that something may be up.....

The Hills - is a reality tv show in which a group of snobby rich kids from 'the hills' deal with life's many ups and downs. Major issues like, so and so's boyfriend going to see so and so in so and so's new bmw, and so on. Not a one of them lives in a house that's worth less than Luxemburg's GDP and that's just their college pads. The only redeeming quality of this show is that you're constantly keeping your fingers crossed that your buddy from high school who didn't graduate with flying colors (or at all for that matter) is going to suddenly appear on the show and somehow convince one of the super modelish gals to 'let him stay the night' at which point PAY DAY! Daddy's little girl has a 'bun in the oven' and daddy's willing to pay just about anything to make sure their newest 'gift' is raised with an abscent father.

A Shot At Love - my personal favorite. This show was first introduced to me on my return flight from Manhatten at which point I got to watch the better part of the first season while seated next to my girlfriend (that wasn't awkward was it?). Now, the show features an internet model Tila Tequila who is a bisexual bombshell that got her start in scholarly journals Stuff & Penthouse. She has a successful on line clothing company, fake breasts and (I quote) 'has performed compromising stunts and tasks for rock legend Ted Nuggent'....not exactly the girl next door type. Now, the show is the bisexual version of the bacherllorette in which 15 men and woman compete to be 'the one' who grabs Tila's attention. It's an odd mix where the men wax and the woman prefer not to shave period.

Now, imagine watching this tremendous line up in your college dorm with your best buddies and a twelve pack. Fine. Now, imagine watching this with your corridor mate from Tehran who's father is a highly educated engineer and has barely been able to afford a single room apartment for which to raise his three children in. I wonder why there is some resentment towards the good ole US of A when put in that context. Ashamed, I think I'll go back to watching Sarah Palin interviews on youtube. While the content is equally as bad at least her breasts are real.