Forget Disney Land, I'm Going To IKEA

My plan this weekend took a major turn this morning when I woke up. Originally I was planning to go to Copenhagen to check out their modern art museum and attend an 'international' brew festival (culture and booze, great combo). It's supposedly an ad hoc version of Oktoberfest (which I think I've given up the idea of going to). Anyways, I woke up this morning and learned my friend Hanafe was in need of a trip to Ikea with her friend Ezge. Apparently Ezge was having a dinner party tonight and she needed a 'carpet' to cover her room floor. The word emergency was used more than once in the description. Anyways, the gals asked me if I wanted to go along. I figured what the hell, when one needs a rug, one needs a rug!

We jumped the express train to Malmo from Lund city center. Ultra quiet, ultra quick train takes about 10 minutes to get there. We used our train tickets to transfer to a city bus and we were off. One more bus transfer and we finally caught site of mecca. We walked in the main doors, hopped on the people mover and we were shopping. Now, normally shopping leads me the kitchenware section where I try to take my own life with the latest ginsu but this place, no need for bloodshed. This place is something special. Everything (really, everything) is so well thought out and designed. I've never seen anything like it before.

First thing I noticed was the shopping carts. They have 360 degree movement. They swivel and maneuver like a ferrari. That being said, the time to 'experiment' with this functionality is probably not on the people mover on the way to the first level, as a Swedish family just about lost their children today as a result of my demonstration. Anyways, all the things that Ikea sells are out for display in various sections. The first section we came to was the couches, ottomans, etc. The next section was cabinets, kitchens, etc. Glass, bright colors, sleek finishes, functional yet modern, EVERYTHING!! Anyways, the gals found a couple of fairly large mirrors that they liked. Time to make our first purchase. Now, normally at a traditional store you would simply grab one of the items from the floor, schlep it around with you and then pay at the register at the end. Not at IKEA. Here, you simply fill out (on IKEA recycled paper with IKEA recycled pencils, need a paper tape measure? metric or american? they have those for your disposal as well) a couple of key numbers from the discreetly placed tag on the item. You essentially are making a list from which to collect items from in the warehouse at the end of your journey (I'll come back to this). Moving on we made our way through the store. The layout is such that you essentially have to travel through the whole place to get to your final destination, the cash register. The girls found lots of stuff along the way. Towels, rugs (carpets), some dishes, etc. which they loaded into their cart.

Side note, here was another amazing part. The prices! In a country where you have to sell a kidney to afford a sandwich this place made Target look like Saks 5th Ave. Now, while I love the Finns, I have to take a shot at them here. The Finnish glassware that I brought back from Finland was quite expensive for glassware. I think the 4 glasses from Iittala that I brought home cost around 40 euro. Now granted, it was a gift, uniquely Finnish and something I wanted to bring home to tell the 'story'. At Ikea, similar glassware (cast molded, colored, functional, well designed) costs around 40 kroner (about $1.50/glass). Literally one tenth the price. Kitchen sets, everything on down the line. Discount in comparison to the exclusive Finnish brands.

Back to the story. So, as we meandered our way from store section to store section and as the girls found more and more stuff they wanted to buy I realized that I was not invited on this trip as just another pretty face. No, no, these broads had plans to turn me into their own personal sherpa. Immediately my focus turned to calorie calculations. Two bus trips, a train trip, several miles walking in between, oh god, I needed to feed. I was running dangerously low as it was and that was minus the multitude of 'baggage' these gals were soon to strap to me. I didn't think the lingonberries and musli I had for breakfast was going to get the job done. Like a sign from the heavens there it was....the food court. I seized the moment. Yet another delightful surprise, two wienerkorv (cooneys) and a coke 12 sek ($2). That should get me through till lunch.

Last stop on the shopping trip. The warehouse. Here is a brillient business strategy. All the large items that you choose to buy during your trip are kept in a warehouse that you collect them from at the end of your journey. For us, we referenced our shopping list we made, found aisle 6, item 45. There it was. The mirrors they decided to buy at the start of our journey. They, (along with everything at IKEA) were flat packed (meaning they fit into a flat box that is easy to move and pack) and easy to carry. On a side note, there are stacks and stacks of pallets and boxes within the warehouse. Everything is organized and when an item is 'out' of stock, there is a pallet above it with the identical item that can simply be dropped into place with a fork lift. Ikea is able to do an analysis of their inventory on those products by simply glancing at the racks and ordering more of the corresponding items. We made our way to the cash register. The girls paid, and it was time to organize our loot and figure out the best methodology to load it onto my body. There is a wrapping station that has butcher paper (recycled), string, whatever you need to secure your load. There is also a shipping station if you want to ship something that is perhaps too heavy to carry on the bus or train. We secured our load and off we went. Found the bus to the city center and that was that.

I've got some pictures below from the day that was. A couple from downtown Malmo, the train station, main city square....can you spot the trademark blue Ikea bag?



Don't let the bag size deceive you. It weighs more than a Toyota.


Gals at the city center fountain.


Some swedish babes discussing the many produce options available on this fine day.


Flower market. Winter is coming soon!


New meets old. Cobblestone streets and freshly purchased items from Ikea.


The stately senate square.


The best I could decipher was this was some sort of iron chef sweden style. The lads on stage were cooking against one another.


Central rail station in Malmo. Since the city sits on the ocean there are numerous boat ways that run through the city.