The Fat Lady Has Sung

Well it's over. The GOP party finally wrapped up last night in dramatic (yawn) fashion with a compelling (yawn) speech by GOP candidate John McCain. It's now safe to replace the nightly glass of bourbon and aspirin with a pint of mylanta. Hug your children and love your wife, the nightmares might well last through October. What once seemed like a formidable challenge to Obama's run at the oval office now has turned into some off colored version of the brady bunch that stars twice as many children as the original and which Karl Rove has replaced Alice as the friendly yet can't be trusted personality that cleans up the mess left behind by the group and their children (I hope we don't have to see him in any sort of pastel apron). Yes, it was quite the event. We learned a lot of really important things about the party and their selections for the oval office......

I'll start with McCain. While we already knew about his patriotic actions in Vietnam as well as his road to the senate we learned some important things about him this week. Mainly his taste in women. His selection of Palin may have stunned the nation and caused republicans a moment of pause (mainly to figure out who the hell she was), but to any 20ish year old sitting by a computer screen the choice was really, really clear. Sorry Cindy, looks like your hubby just bumped you from belle of the ball to cocktail waitress. No hard feelings though, we'll let you keep your 7 figure salary from the family biz to ice the pain.

Speaking of Palin, let's move on to her. What a babe. This broad in a v-neck with her hair up can swing half the electoral college of Minnesota simply by 'dropping her pen'. She's popped out 5 kids, can field dress a moose in the dead of an Alaskan winter, beat the shit out of parents at PTA meetings when they disagreed with her 'executive power', can deliver medicine to eskimos via dog sled and snowmobile, was runner up in a 1984 beauty pageant contest and single handedly defeated a tribe of vikings that were trying to conquer the Aleutian islands from the north (the picture below proves it)...yes, this gals got balls (or at least the female equivalent).

Now, while I am in favor of a macro shift in politics from the good ole boy system to a more youthful (most likely less experienced) and different faced Washington I think this move was absurd. I commend McCain for taking a stride in a positive direction for the GOP by stepping up to nominate a woman as his running mate. He had to take a risk as his campaign was on life support. If this was managed properly and not such a haymaker punch from the back meant to swing female votes he may have pulled it off. As it sits I think he sunk his own ship (or is that crashed his own plane?). I believe that female voters will ultimately rebel against Palin when the count comes in come November. I think it takes more than parading a (hot) soccer mom around Minneapolis to win this highly contested election. The debates will prove interesting and should be a good litmus test for everyone involved. Obama should be able to talk circles around McCain as these should be the less interesting of the few debates. The real gloves will come off when Biden tries to keep his eyes off Palin and has to answer questions thrown at him while she squirms in her chair replicating the interrogation scene in Basic Instinct. Have a pack of smokes handy, you're going to need one when it's over.